How to Rewrite Your Life Story: Identify, Heal, and Change Old Beliefs
Have you tried to rewrite your life story but felt blocked? Or maybe you’ve made progress, only to find yourself falling back into the same old thoughts and patterns?
One of the reasons this happens is that changing your story isn’t just about creating new beliefs. You also have to understand and heal the beliefs that created the old story in the first place. It is hard to put in a new belief or idea when the old one is still there.
Imagine moving into a new home where the old owners left all their stuff behind. If you moved your things in before moving theirs out the place would be cluttered and hard to function in.
Imagine having two beds in every room, plus all the other bedroom furniture. You would be climbing over furniture just to get where you need to go. And nighttime bathroom runs? Better stop drinking water way before bed to avoid stubbing your toe!
But if you first remove their items and then put yours in, you will have a place you like that functions. You could even keep some of their stuff and get rid of yours if you like one more than the other.
Our beliefs work much the same way as the furniture in this house. The old things are the beliefs and ideas you created when you were young based on others’ opinions and ideas. Your new stuff is what you decide you want to believe and think about yourself – keeping some old ones you like and bringing in new ones that better align to you today.
Most people jump right into trying to put all the new beliefs in, but with those old beliefs rooted in life’s experiences we can’t permanently rewrite our story. Add to this that our beliefs create habits and often are intertwined with other beliefs – there are even more layers to rewriting what we think and feel.
So how do you start to decide what you want to keep and what you want to replace? And then how do you keep that old belief from taking over again?
The process for deciding what is right for you is self-discovery. The process for making sure the old really leaves and is fully seen is emotional healing.
Process to Rewrite Your Life Story
- Identify the part of your narrative that you want to change – what exactly is it. Be as detailed as possible. If it is too general the rest is harder to do.
- Identify what beliefs are part of what you want to change.
- Identify why you believe each of these to be true. With this you want to look for specific events or messages you have received through your life that feed into this. There may be many or just one. Sometimes, you may not find a clear cause in this lifetime. From a spiritual perspective, it’s possible that the belief has a deeper origin, such as an unresolved past-life experience.
- Heal the issues that caused the beliefs. This may involve exploring and processing the emotions connected to those experiences. This is a good place to work with a therapist.
- Begin reframing what you tell yourself. For example, if you tell yourself you have to be perfect, you might reframe that belief as, I am loved exactly as I am.
- Be aware of when your old thoughts come back in. Because these are also habits, even after you do the healing work you need to make sure the old thought pattern no longer automatically takes over. When you notice the back slide, stop and remind yourself that you don’t believe that anymore. If you keep repeating this even after a few months, go back and see if there is another aspect of it you didn’t uncover.
This entire process can take time, so stick with it, because the end result – a life story that feels true to who you are today, is worth it!
If you’re not sure where to begin, try these journal prompts. You don’t need to work through all of them at once — choose the ones that resonate with you.
Journal Prompts to Help Rewrite Your Story
Create a list of agreements (beliefs) that you have made with yourself. Pick the one that you want to work on.
Ask yourself:
- Why do I think this?
- When did I start to feel or think this way? (Looking for the source of your belief)
- If you find a source: begin to explore the emotions with this event. It
helps to start by simply writing out the story of what happened. - Look for proof that it is false. What situation(s) has this been untrue?
Another way to approach this is to look for the thoughts that come up when trying to achieve something.
- When I imagine myself achieving my dreams what are the first thoughts that come up? (These are often your limiting beliefs if they are negative.)
- After I finish something, what is the first thought in my head? For example, you submitted a big work project to your boss and your first thought is: He won’t like it, it’s not good enough.
- Then explore why you think that
- And is this true?
For more resources and tools to help with rewriting your story check out this blog post. https://andreabelzer.com/rewrite-your-life-story-tools/