How to Release Attachment to Outcomes: A 4-Step Journaling Practice
When we do something in life we tend to have a desired outcome. It might be as simple as wanting to enjoy coffee with friends. Or as big as needing a presentation at work to go well so that you can get a promotion.
The problem with expected outcomes is that life doesn’t always happen the way that we want it to. The presentation goes great, but the boss’s son gets the job. Before going to coffee your friends cancel due to issues in their own lives.
As humans, we tend to get emotionally attached to the outcome and struggle to let go when things don’t go our way.
This week we are going to explore ways that you can release attachment to a specific outcome that you are struggling to release.
Journaling Practice for Releasing Attachment
Step 1: Better Understand the Desired Outcome
Before you can release attachment to the outcome you need to better understand exactly what you want. Sometimes the ability to release expectations is found in the small details of what is going on.
Where am I struggling to let go of an outcome?
If you have more than one, pick the one that causes you the most stress.
What is the outcome I am looking for?
Be as detailed as possible, this will help you as you start to explore.
Why do I want/need this specific outcome?
Step 2: Understand the Attachment
Now that you are clear on the desired outcome it is time to begin to understand your attachment to it.
Start with this question:
What happens if I don’t get the desired result?
Is the result I am looking for a reasonable expectation?
Sometimes we put too much emphasis on one thing to get us our desired outcome. For example, in the case of our work presentation. Is the one presentation the only determining factor or is it more about consistency overtime in your job performance?
From this, if the expectation isn’t reasonable, how can you adjust your expectation for the single event?
Step 3: Letting Go
Now it is time to start working through how to let go of your attachment to the outcome.
If I released these expectations, what would I focus on instead?
Replacing your minds direction on what it should be focusing on can help you release easier. If you just let it wander, it tends to go back to what it was already ruminating on!
How can I change this mindset and resulting actions over the next week?
Similar to the last one, but slightly different. With this you are making a plan to release the actions created from your mindset around the outcome. For example, if you know that you are going to over fixate by checking the results every hour – how are you going to prevent yourself from doing that?
What do your spirit guides say about this?
Sometimes we don’t have the answer because we are too close to it. When we ask our spirit guides what we are missing they can help fill in the gaps.
I recently had to do this with an issue I have struggled with for months. Their insight solved my attachment issues within five minutes!
Depending on how you work with your guides you can use automatic writing, or your main way of communicating with them. Not sure how to get answers from your guides? Check out this article on how you can get spiritual guidance.
Step 4: Deeper Exploration
Even after this journaling practice you might feel like you are missing a piece to help you let go. The following prompts will help you better understand your attachment to control and results.
- What is a better use of my energy?
- How can I let go of the anxiety around this?
- How is clinging to an outcome impacting me? Explore this in each of your four bodies – mental, emotional, spiritual and physical.
- When in my past have, I learned to try and control the outcome? What in this can I start to heal to help me release my need to control.
- Within this situation – what do I control and what do I not control? Understanding where you can make an impact can help you release attachment to what you don’t control. Helping you better manage your energy and expectations.
- Am I holding on because there is a timeline for results? If so, explore how you can better use your energy to meet your needs. For example, if you are waiting to hear about a job offer because you need a new one right away. Can you put your energy into another job application or networking?
- Look back at a time in your life when something didn’t go “according to plan” but turned out to be exactly what you needed. How did that detour serve your growth?
- If I stop controlling this situation, I am afraid that ______ will happen.
Letting go doesn’t mean you stop caring; it means you stop allowing your peace to be held hostage by a specific result. As you close your journal today, take one deep breath and physically imagine yourself handing the “outcome” over to your spirit team. You have done your part. Now, give them the space to do theirs. Trust that what is meant for you will never miss you, and what misses you was never truly yours to hold.
Explore more articles and tools that will help you let go:
How to Turn Over Control to Your Spirit Guides