How to Identify Hidden Fears Blocking Your Goals

These are the fears that can do the most damage to our lives. Because we do not know they exist we can’t see how they harm us.

And many times, the harm being done is to the goals and dreams we want to achieve.

But not to fear, there are signs that will help you uncover the fears that are blocking you.

Let’s dive right in with the first one.

Procrastination

Do you have something you say you really want. But when it comes time to take action you don’t? This is a sure sign of a hidden fear.

To figure out your fears tied to procrastination you can look at it in two ways. First is what you get from a goal. If you are successful, it will change your life. And this can trigger fears that are hidden.

The second is through our excuses. The reasons we use to not move forward, can zero in on the fear quickly.

Use the following journaling prompts to explore each of these.

Uncover Fears In Success

What do I get from achieving this goal? Why wouldn’t I want that?

For example, if you want to lose 10 pounds. What happens if you achieve this goal? Attention? A new wardrobe? If you get attention what does that mean for you? Is it a fear of being seen?

Or if you must buy clothes, is it a fear that you would waste money because you might gain the weight right back? Proving that your mom was right that you can’t be consistent? Which can tie to not being good enough.

Uncover Fears Hidden in Excuses

What excuses do I make when not taking action?

With this, create a list of the excuses you use. Then begin to explore each one to gather more information. Starting with asking ‘Why.’ Why is a powerful discovery tool. It can quickly get you to the bottom of a problem. (Learn more about the Why Ladder.)

Truth Within the Excuse

Your excuses can have aspects of them that are true. This makes it harder to identify the fear because the excuse has reality in it. To eliminate this block to seeing your fear use this process.

• Take your list of excuses.
• Pick the one that you use the most.
• Break down that excuse into what is truth and what is not.
• Create a plan to solve the truthful issue.

For example, I recently updated my overcoming fear workbook. I originally thought I could get the project done in a week. A month later and it wasn’t close to being done.

My excuse? No time because of two other projects I had going. Was it true? Yes, I did have multiple projects going. Acknowledging that it was true allowed me to move forward and handle the excuse. I did this by prioritizing the order of the projects. Once I did them in priority order instead of doing them all at once, I was better able to see real fears in procrastination.

Decision Making Problems

Decision making problems show up in two ways. First that you can’t make a decision. Second, you second guess the decisions you do make.

To determine if this is due to fear ask yourself these questions:

• What happens if I make a bad decision?
• Have I had an experience with this type of decision that didn’t go well? Why? What have I learned from it?
• What is stopping me from making a decision? Why?

This is another one to use the Why Ladder on. Especially the last question.

Perfectionism

Are you stuck in the cycle of planning? Trying to make everything, just right? Redoing everything because it was not good enough? Perfection is a sure sign of fear taking over.

I am a recovering perfectionist, and I can say one of the biggest reasons for this was fear of being wrong. Once I understood this and found the source of the fear. I was able to re-write the limiting belief tied to this fear.

Anytime you find yourself re-doing something stop or stressing over it being good enough. Stop and ask yourself if it is because of fear.

A good go to question is: Why do I not think this is good enough?

How Fears Are Created

You can also identify hidden fears by understanding what can create fears. Here are some of the common fear creators.

• Limiting beliefs – limiting beliefs and fear are tied together. A fear can create a belief and a belief can create a fear. If I believe that I make bad decisions because I was told that growing up. Then I create a fear of making decisions. The more either of this is reinforced the stronger the fear becomes.  Click here to learn more about Identifying Limiting Beliefs.
• Someone else’s fears – it is very common to replicate the fears of those around us. But when we stop and analyze it, we realize that it isn’t actually ours. This is especially true with our big relationships such as parent/child and romantic partner.
• Event related – did something happen to create a fear? Were you stuck in a bad storm? Did someone leave you without warning when you thought the relationship was great? You can uncover these by taking the thing you are struggling with and asking if there is a past event that is like it.
• Built up fears – this is a big one for those with anxiety or are natural worriers. Do you build up a future event to the point of fear? Ask yourself what you think will happen to help you narrow in on the fear.

Final Thoughts

Don’t just stop naming the fear. If you stop at saying I am afraid of change – you won’t get to the root cause. You need the root cause to be able to re-write your subconscious and move forward.

Keep in mind that it might be many fears impacting your goal. They can be intertwined and layered on top of each other. So if you clear one fear, but still struggle, keep looking for another fear.

If you have cleared all the fears but are still struggling, there may be things you can’t see impacting your goal.  Download my free ebook on the top 4 things blocking your goal for more help.