How to Overcome Resistance to Good Things

What is Resistance?

The definition of resistance includes the refusal to accept and an attempt to prevent something from happening. In short you are blocking something.

The tricky part with resistance is you might not be blocking the goal itself. Instead, you are blocking something you get from the goal.

For example, you are trying to lose weight. You might not necessarily have resistance to the workout or diet. But to what happens in your life after you lose weight. Like getting more attention.

How can you tell if you are resisting something?

While most of the time you will know you are resisting something. There are times when your resistance might be subconscious. If you aren’t sure if you are resisting something, ask yourself these questions:

• Is there anywhere I am stuck in a pattern? Repetitive problems mean we are somehow blocked from moving forward. One reason could be a hidden resistance to the change.
• What do I struggle to follow through with? Procrastination will often show you what you are resisting.
• Where do I blame others for what I am struggling with? Blame allows us to look at others instead of ourselves.
• Where do I keep taking action but make no progress? This can show you a resistance to doing something that will help you make progress. It’s cloaked by the fact you are taking action on your goal – you’re just not getting anywhere.

Reasons Why You Are Resisting Good Things

Fear

Fears are one of the biggest causes of resistance. Change is scary, we often don’t know what is on the other side of that change we say we want. And this unknown will stop you from taking action.

These fears can run from fear success to fear of failing, and fears tied to limiting beliefs. And some fears can even be practical ones that still block us – such as fear of spiders so you avoid cleaning the basement. Even though you really want a clean basement!

Not sure if fear is an issue for you? Check out this article on Uncovering Hidden Fears.

You are Overwhelmed

Change – especially new changes – can feel overwhelming and unmanageable. There is simply too much to do.

For example, you feel overwhelmed with the amount of time writing your dream book will take. When thinking it could take a year or more you begin to doubt you can manage it, so instead of taking action you resist.

You Don’t Have All the Information You Need

This is similar to being overwhelmed, but specifically it’s about not having the information related to what you are trying to do.

For example, you don’t know how to put together a healthy menu plan. So, instead of taking action on a new healthy diet, you resist it.

Burnout

If you are overwhelmed, and there is a lot going on in your life the issue could be burnout. The longer we work on something without taking a break the harder it can be to do.

For example, if you are writing that book you have always wanted to but are struggling to have productive sessions – so you just stop writing. This could be burn out – your mind just needs some down time.

Not Your Goal

If you are trying to achieve something because someone else wants you to, you will find ways to resist it. Make sure you are the one who really wants this, and not someone else in your life.

For example, your parents want you to study abroad. You keep resisting turning in the paperwork because you don’t want to.

Spiritual Blocks

From a spiritual perspective we can be blocked by forces that we don’t even realize are there.  This can be everything from old energy fields you are still stuck in, curses, or a possession.

It’s not that you don’t want it, it’s that something else doesn’t want you to have it! Learn more about Spiritual Blocks and How to Overcome Them.

How to Overcome Resistance?

The first thing you will want to do is acknowledge & accept there is resistance. If you have made it this far you probably already acknowledge it but let’s make it official! State out loud:

“ I am resisting ______________. I accept this and am ready to understand why and fix it.”

After that here are some ways you can understand and fix it.

Take a Break

If you are struggling because of burnout then it is time to take a break!

Start by taking a week or two off. To decide how much time to take off, ask yourself how long you have been at it without a break. The longer you have been working on this area without a break, the longer your break needs to be.

If when you start back up again you are still struggling, you could try an extended break or explore some of the other options below.

Understand Your Resistance

The best way to do this is to pay attention to your emotions and thoughts that happen when you are trying to start.

For example, if you are trying to start a regular workout program, but can’t get past thinking about it, tune into what your thoughts are right after you say you are going to work out. Is it, but I am clumsy? Or but I don’t know how and will look foolish.

This first thought will reveal to you why you are resisting. Then you can take that and start to understand why you think that. In the example above this would look like: I don’t want to look foolish. Why? Because I once tripped at a camp as a kid and everyone laughed at me.

From this you can start to work on healing that event.

Journal Prompts to Help You Better Understand Resistance

• Why doesn’t this feel right?
• Why am I not doing this?
• Is there a different way that feels better?
• Am I rationalizing? Making excuses? Why?
• Is there a way to get an “easy” win that will help move me forward?
• Do I really want this, or am I doing it for someone else?

Break Actions into Small Steps

When what you are trying to do is big and overwhelming it helps to break it down into as small of steps as possible. It will even help show you where you might have other problems that need to be overcome – such as not having the right knowledge to take action.

For example, if you are wanting to run a marathon, break down what you need to do each day before the race. Then put details on it such as what do you need to be able to make each day happen. This could be: I am going to run 2 miles on Monday. I first need a new pair of shoes and a babysitter. From here it becomes easier to take action.

Ask for Help

This can be in two forms. The first is for accountability. Having someone to keep you on task will help you overcome resistance.

The second is when you can’t see why you are stuck. Ask for someone to help you better understand your resistance. Sometimes we can’t see our own blocks. This is completely normal! Asking someone else what they see can help you make progress faster.

Reduce What You Are Trying to Do

Sometimes getting started is what you need. So instead of planning on doing a 30-minute workout, commit to 5 minutes. Then start to build from there.

If you have tried all this and more and are still stuck, this is when you may need to determine if it is a spiritual block. You can learn more about spiritual healing here.

Resistance Isn’t Always Bad

Just a final word, about resistance – it’s not always bad. In fact, it can help you get closer to what you want if you let it. How?

A way to help you sort through the details. This is especially true if the resistance you feel is towards a goal. This is especially true if the resistance you feel is towards a goal. If you are resisting it there may be something missing. Or you don’t fully understand it. The resistance gives you a chance to step back and look at it differently.

A way to help you learn more about yourself. As you attempt to work towards your goals you will have to face the fears and feelings that show up. Resistance is a great self-awareness tool, because you have to dig in and learn what the block is.

Learning to let go and trust. This is especially true when the resistance is due to timing and/or not having the information. Sometimes we just have to trust what is meant to be will be. We can’t see everything, and trusting is what is needed. There have been countless times I wanted something, struggled to take action and then a year or two later realized the blessing in not being able to move forward.